Honesty is the BEST Policy...

So, I have decided to be completely honest with myself. I am a horrible procrastinator. I am the worst of the worst procrastinators. If you were to look up the word procrastinator in the dictionary there would be a picture of me right next to it. I procrastinate on everything and the majority of the time it works out. In school, I always seemed to wait until the night before to finish a project or put the finishing details on a paper (I also probably started the paper that day). Most of the time, my procrastinating never got me into too much trouble, minus minor sleep deprivation and a stress headache. I never seemed to get awful grades on assignments I rushed to finish on time. I always have to best intentions... I really do mean to start things sooner, but for some reason that never seems to happen. Let's just hope that I learn to stop procrastinating before I suffer the consequences of this horrible habit.

The things I have procrastinated on are the following: sending in my application for my visa and fundraising for my year in England. Now, these are both very bad times for the procrastination monster to rear its ugly head. I really didn't mean to wait so long to send in my visa application, but I wanted to wait until I was able to come home and have my mom help me with it. I know that I am 22 years old and should be able to do that by myself, but when she's around, somethings just seem to make more sense. The whole application process seemed so confusing and I had no idea what I needed to send in and what documents were irrelevant. Not to worry though, my application was sent off last week with all the necessary documents. When I sent that envelope I felt like I was sending off a manuscript to a publisher, it seemed that thick. I'm hoping and praying that I get it all in time. It's kind of nerve racking not knowing what is happening with all of those papers. Here's hoping the UK consulate let's me in to their country...

Now as far as fundraising goes, I am going to once again be completely honest. If I had to pick one thing as my biggest weakness, it is asking people for money. I hate asking people for anything let alone for their hard earned money. I am the kind of person that wants to do everything on their own. I don't really want to have to ask for help. I would much rather help others than have others help me. I am getting better at asking for help, but asking for money is another beast entirely. So, that is the reason why I have been procrastinating with my fundraising efforts. It's incredibly difficult for me to think that anything I do in life people would want to invest in me financially to help me do the things I have been called to do. Because that's what all of this is... God has called me to spend a year of my life (if not more) serving others in a different country. God has called me to live in community with others, working alongside them to accomplish their vision for their own piece of the world.

When I finally started to look at things from this perspective, the whole asking for money thing has become a little easier. This money is not just for me, its for all the people I will meet and come to know over this next year. It's for the people that have been and will continue to be impacted by the organization I will be working with over in England. This fundraising is so much bigger than myself. I have to stop worrying about how uncomfortable I am with asking for money and remember that this money I will raise is going to help so many people. If I keep reminding myself of that, then I might be able to get through this. God has a plan for me and he will never lead me astray; as long as I trust in Him, I can never go wrong.

As a little note, when I get to England, I hope to post every two weeks. I promise to do my best to live up to this promise and pray that my procrastination does not get the best of me!