Another Lesson from Winnie the Pooh

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” ~Winnie the Pooh


Winnie the Pooh is at it again!  Another nugget of wisdom from that "silly old bear".  But to be honest, I don't even know where to begin with this blog.  Over the past few days I've had to say goodbye to some people and I honestly don't like it.  I knew that eventually the time would have to come and I would leave this place, but I don't think I prepared myself well enough for this event.  I know that it is never easy to say goodbye to people, but these goodbyes feel even more bittersweet.  

While I said goodbye to some people earlier in the week, today is when it really sank in that I am leaving in just two days.  Tonight was my last youth club and when I first walked in it felt like any other youth club.  Kids were playing pool, others were on the computers, a few were just sitting around having a chat.  As the night rolled on though, it started to hit me that I was not going to be seeing these kids again next Wednesday.  Many of them had made some lovely cards to give all of us volunteers that were leaving and they were so sweet.  It was very thoughtful of them to take the time to make these adorable cards for us.  What really threw me for a loop came at the end of the night.  One of the boys who is about twelve years old began to cry.  Never in my wildest dreams did I expect him to start crying!  I almost lost it at that point.  He's such a sweet kid and it just broke my heart to see him in tears.  All of the kids I have had the honor of interacting with this year will forever hold a special place in my heart.  They truly have changed my life and I will never forget them.

I think that's why it's been so hard to say these goodbyes.  I have been on an incredible journey with all of these people.  Through the good, the bad and the ugly these people have walked along side me and have influenced me in so many ways.  I am not coming back to the United States the same girl I was a year ago.  I have learned so much about myself and have grown and moved a few steps closer to the person God created me to be.  

The bear is right though.  I do feel so lucky to have something, or in this case some people, that makes saying goodbye so incredibly hard.  I don't want to brag, but I would like to say that I am pretty good with putting words to paper, but in this case words seem to fail.  How in the world am I supposed to describe this last year?  How do I communicate to people how I've changed?  Will they be able to see the changes in me?  Will people be able to understand?  No matter what happens when I return home, I will carry all the people I've met this year in my heart.  The memories we've made together, the laughs we shared, even the tears that were shed have made this experience what it is.  I would give anything right now for these words to make sense and to be able to convey just how much this year has meant to me.  

While I am so excited to be returning home to all my family and friends, I am also very sad to leave this place that has truly become my home and the people that have become my "English" family.  I am forever grateful to them for putting up with me for a whole year.  As I move on into the next part of my life, I will always look back at this year and smile.  I am truly lucky to have these things and these people that make it so hard to say goodbye.  Thanks for one unforgettable year across the pond!     

A Future Not Our Own

I don't know about you, but sometimes I find myself getting frustrated about my job.  I suppose though not in the way most people get frustrated with their jobs.  Some people might get upset with their boss or their coworkers.  Others might not like the type of work they do at all.  I am fortunate enough to love my boss, coworkers and the work I do.  What I find difficult about my job is the fact that there are moments when I wonder if I'm making any difference at all in the lives of the kids I meet.  Some kids I only see for a few hours and then they're gone; out of my life probably forever.  I used to worry about whether or not I miraculously transformed their lives.  Then one day I was talking to my mom about these things and she said, "You may never know how much you affected the lives of those kids."  While this was kind of disheartening it also made me realize that I might not see the fruits of my labor, I know deep down that I have made an impact on some kids somewhere this year.  The following is a prayer that was written by Archbishop Oscar Romero.  I hope you enjoy it and find some comfort in its words.

It helps, now and then, to step back
and take the long view.
The kingdom is not only beyond our efforts,
it is beyond our vision. 

We accomplish in our lifetime only a tiny fraction of
the magnificent enterprise that is God's work.
Nothing we do is complete,
which is another way of saying
that the kingdom always lies beyond us. 

No statement says all that could be said.
No prayer fully expresses our faith.
No confession brings perfection.
No pastoral visit brings wholeness.
No programme accomplishes the church's mission.
No set of goals and objectives includes everything. 

This is what we are about:
We plant seeds that one day will grow.
We water seeds already planted, knowing that they hold future promise.
We lay foundations that will need further development.
We provide yeast that produces effects beyond our capabilities. 

We cannot do everything
and there is a sense of liberation in realizing that.
This enables us to do something,
and to do it very well.
It may be incomplete, but it is a beginning, a step along the way,
an opportunity for God's grace to enter and do the rest. 

We may never see the end results,
but that is the difference between the master builder and the worker.
We are workers, not master builders,
ministers, not messiahs.
We are prophets of a future not our own.